Do Justly, Love Mercy, Walk Humbly

The Way of Jesus

2011-11-02T16:58:00.001-04:00

I've been in some good conversations lately about actively living/walking in the way of Jesus. Seems like we often talk about living the way Jesus lived or acting the way Jesus acted. It gets difficult to cut through the vague to hear someone say something specific.

"I think people need to act more like Jesus." Easy criticism. What does that mean? What would you change about your day if you were going to "act more like Jesus." Whatever you come up with, why don't you go ahead and change that?

These conversations and thoughts led me to dig into the teachings of Jesus more intensely than I have in the past. For reasons I can't quite figure out myself, I started with the Sermon on the Mount. I recommend you read it. Matthew 5:3-7:27. Go ahead. If you just go ahead and read it you will get far more out of it than if you continue reading this blog post.

For those who have read it (especially recently) and you want to continue this post. Here's more...

I find Jesus utterly surprising. Opening this compacted set of powerful teachings is a list - we call it the Beatitudes - of blessings. And who Jesus pronounces a blessing for surprises me. It probably surprised everyone there. He didn't say a blessing over the rich, the powerful, the beautiful, the cool, the popular, or those with many friends. He blesses the poor in spirit, the mournful, the meek, those hungering and thirsting for some righteousness, and for those who care deeply about these same things (merciful, pure in heart, peacemaking, righteous).

As I get to know Jesus better, I love that he asks me to get out of my comfort zone and try to see people the way he sees them. Maybe I can actually walk the way he walked or live the way he lived if I get to know his heart and begin to see the way he sees.

Blessed are the teenagers in that awkward stage...
Blessed are the crying or demanding toddlers at the grocery store...
Blessed are the people who can't seem to keep a job and always try to make excuses for themselves...
Blessed are the couple you just met at church and it turns out they've been there for years and you just didn't see them...
Blessed are the guys from another ethnicity that you are intimidated by...
Blessed are the two people talking or answering their phones during the movie you paid full price for...
Blessed are the drivers who cut you off...
Blessed are the Japanese survivors who lost many friends and family...
Blessed are the children's Sunday school teachers who never get to go to "big church"...
Blessed are the people who walk from their low-income apartment to the beer stop around the corner...
Blessed are those who think the best years of their lives are behind them...
Blessed are those who will not be able to buy turkey or ham for Thanksgiving or Christmas...
Blessed are those who will never get an A on a test...
Blessed are those who marry "that person" against their family's wishes...
Blessed are the ones who battle depression and have a successful day when they manage to get out of bed and leave the house for a little while...
Blessed are those who had to bury their dog or cat this week...
Blessed are those have a really strong opinion about everything and make sure you hear it...
Blessed are those who are caring for an aged parent...
Blessed are those who are carrying hurts and just won't heal...
Blessed are those who can't seem to do anything right...

These are the people that came to my mind when I tried to think of people that I don't bless. Maybe if I bless them, I can see them with Jesus' eyes and then I can love them as he does.

Is there someone in your life that you would find it unexpected for Jesus to bless them? What if you did it?

Who knows where this journey through the Sermon on the Mount will take me. If you want to come along, I welcome the company.

Serious question: who would you bless if you were to intentionally bless someone that doesn't get blessed much (or at all)?

Grace or Disgrace?

2011-02-07T10:31:00.002-05:00

I have recently observed an exchange in a social network in which a Christian publicly "called out" another Christian for using a crass word in a public comment.

My first thought? Here we go again. Yet another instance of Christianity being publicly smeared by someone choosing "being right" over "being loving."

Take a quick glance at Matthew 22:34-40. The Pharisees try to trap Jesus by asking him to declare which of the commandments was the greatest. Jesus responds with the greatest commandment "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind" and throws in the second greatest commandment for good measure "you shall love your neighbor as yourself." Neither of these commands was in the original list? Did Jesus forget the list? (Probably not as he was there when it was written.) No, clearly Jesus' response to their question is to point out to them how all of God's commands are to be understood. A paradigm shift for sure.

According to Jesus' statement of the first and second greatest commandments, Christians are to be such experts on love that they have no trouble at all obeying any other law that God has established.

I didn't get very far into this before I was reminded of Matthew 7:1-5 which includes Jesus' famous question "Why do you see the speck in your brother's eye, but you do not see the log in your own eye?" Actually, the mental image this conjures usually is enough comedy to help me get over the angst it generates.

It is brash and rude to confront someone publicly. It always has been. Further, people who believe it is both their right and their job to point out another person's sin, have failed utterly to grasp Jesus comment on the speck and the log, are likely in violation of the second greatest command, and are guilty of disgrace. If this is a strong statement, let me ask you to please spend some time meditating on Matthew 22:37-40 and Matthew 7:1-5 before you comment or email me or give your input on this.

And now a moment of back-pedaling. I do not make these comments as though I am perfect. This is why I cannot name specifically the person who set me off or anyone for that matter. What if I reach for the speck only to find my arm is not as long as the log in my eye? Instead, I make these comments in defense of the confronted.

I have brought this up in discussion before and it is generally not well received. There seems to be a sense of Christian duty to make sure someone says something to that guy who sinned or that girl who sinned. We rally to speak the truth in love. Then we forget love altogether and confront because we're offended. Matthew 18:1 (someone was going to quote this as a counterpoint to what I'm saying, so I'll head it off now) says, "If your brother sins against YOU, go and tell him his fault between you and him ALONE." If you tell someone else about it first, you are guilty of gossip. If you don't address it in a private manner there is no conceivable way to convince me that it is being done in love, putting the good of that brother ahead of your own, or for the purpose of restoring that brother.

Here are some common myths regarding a Christian who sins:

Myth 1 - They don't know they sinned and they need to be shown their error so they can repent. (When I have sinned, I know before I committed the sin that I was sinning...every time). If you have the Holy Spirit living in you and guiding you, how do you "slip up" and sin without realizing it? No, if we are honest, we choose to sin. We know something is sin, we feel the temptation, and we choose to sin. You are not a victim of temptation. Take responsibility for yourself. And for the confronter, how can you be sure that you are not confronting from pride with a holier-than-thou attitude?

Myth 2 - Your are confronting your brother out of love. This is tricky. 1 Corinthians 13 has a great checklist to reference if you want to know whether your actions are loving or not.

Myth 3 - Your brother has sinned against you. We take other peoples failures too personally. I don't need to draw this out, but what if we were in the same trench in the same war with our brother? What if we didn't put them on the other side of a conflict they didn't know existed? I just think we should tone down our self-righteous indignation, check our egos at the door, and stop being wounded other peoples' behavior.

Myth 4 - Your brother has sinned. We have gotten very good at making something sin because we don't like it. It's quite possible, when you are offended, that your brother has not sinned at all you've just made an assumption or otherwise misunderstood your brother and are now talking yourself into having been sinned against. If something feels like an offense, it is healthy for the relationship for you to ask that person if they intended to offend you by that. This feels like the spirit behind Matthew 18:1. Don't you want to keep a friendship with your friend? If so, don't you want to make sure you aren't treating your friend unfairly by assuming something they didn't mean? Or, wouldn't you sacrifice your own comfort for the sake of keeping your friend? These conversations are not easy and should always be done sparingly, humbly, and with understanding as a goal - not correction. I have always found these conversations to be worth the having, though.

Here's what I'm driving at. We are created for relationship, so common sense would say it is better to keep a friend then right a wrong (look up 1 Peter 4:8). I have had countless conversations with friends who have sinned and are aware of their sin and are looking for help to get through the pain they have caused. They want to know that being a sinner has not made them less than human. They want forgiveness. They want to know that God still loves them and I still love them (they want me to follow the first and second greatest commandments). When I've treated them as with respect as an equal and refused to patronize them, discipleship happens! Conversely, I've heard and seen so much hurt caused in the name of "speaking the truth in love" that I can't tell whether it is love or the truth that Christians remain mostly ignorant of.

Please, for the love of God and the love of your brother, spend some time learning about Matthew 7:1-5 and 1 Corinthians 13 before you take a crack at Matthew 18:1.

How to have a good conversation

2011-01-05T09:54:00.002-05:00

Is there anything more profound than a question? Maybe thoughtful silence is more profound than a question.

I wondered this morning if I have ever heard an answer that was nearly as profound as the question to which it responds.

As a child, life revolves around you. In your mind it is not the sun or the earth at the center of the universe, it is you. Paul the Apostle says, "When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways." (I Cor. 13:11) There must come a point when you stop behaving as the center of your own universe.

It wasn't until I was in my twenties that I began to be interested in what other people think. I always acted like I wanted to have a good conversation or discussion with someone but what I really wanted was to be right, to be impressive, to win the day. Amazing how easy narcissism can be!

So I began to ask people questions. I asked questions about their work, their hobbies, their interests, their passions and often asked how they feel about church. First lesson learned: people are interesting! Second lesson learned: you can learn something from anyone.

More recently, I've become very interested in the rare jewel that is a good and true conversation.

Emily Post is quoted as saying: "Ideal conversation must be an exchange of thought, and not, as many of those who worry most about their shortcomings believe, an eloquent exhibition of wit or oratory."

Katsumoto, in The Last Samurai, says: "I have introduced myself. You have introduced yourself. This is a very good conversation."

With whom do you enjoy talking? Is there someone in your life with whom it is enough to just sit and talk?

What makes a good conversation? I have an idea that if you could teach someone to carry on good conversations it would help every one of that person's relationships.

Here's the instant gratification version of how to be good at conversation: "...let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger" (James 1:19)

For those who want a little more, here's a list of tips to help you become a good conversationalist (these are not original, I got them here):

A good conversationalist is patient and kind.

A good conversationalist does not envy or boast.

A good conversationalist is not arrogant or rude.

A good conversationalist does not insist on his own way.

A good conversationalist is not irritable or resentful.

A good conversationalist does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth.

A good conversationalist bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things.

I'll let you be the judge. If someone treated you as described in these seven statements, wouldn't that make for a very good conversation?

This year, ask more questions than you attempt to answer. Along the way you may learn much and improve a little.

Here's a starter. What do you want to talk about?

Truth in Common: Computers

2010-04-08T08:52:00.002-04:00

I am the manager of an IT support group at a university. Connecting God's truth with computers will be a great daily reminder for me. For you, well...I guess you're on a computer if you're reading this so it applies.

Computers

Computers remind me of what God's Word tells us about our minds.

The Bible says, in Matthew 12:34b, "For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks." One of the basic principles of computing is input/output. You give the computer input (often by keyboard and mouse), and by certain rules that computer gives you output (usually displayed on a screen). In our lives, aren't we constantly given input? We receive input from everything around us. The question is, by what rules are we responding to the input? Does the output of our lives show that we are receiving input from our Creator? Do we use rules that He has coded into our hearts to process what we take in so that what comes out of us gives Him the glory?

This is a nice segue to another point. All computers function because of programming. Our brains are correctly compared with computers in that they must be programmed to function in a meaningful way. As a parent I try to encode many things in my children - respect for others, love for God and all people, integrity. Even more, I am programmed by what I take in. Many people call this the "garbage in, garbage out" concept. The Bible says it another way, "...for whatever a man sows, that will he also reap."

In computers, you program correctly and the computer does exactly what you program it to do. A word processor and a virus are both programs that are working the way the programmer meant for them to work. You don't get evil from bad programming, you get evil from evil programming. So the two considerations with programming are "is it working correctly?" and "what did the programmer design it to do?" By now, you have probably already guessed my point. As beings designed by God, we out to be filling up with His programming so that we can do what we are designed to do. However, we allow ourselves to be programmed by messages from other sources - other people, ourselves, worldly thinking, or our great enemy. Like a virus, though, any message not coming from God will lead to our destruction. A virus is not just an "alternative" or "another way to look at it" or "what works for me." A virus is designed to destroy and prevent what the computer was intended to do.

We act and think based on what is imprinted in our heart and mind - what we are programmed to think and to do. Are you being programmed by God's Truth. Before you turn on the TV or boot up the computer and begin to program yourself with viruses, have you programmed yourself with the message of Jesus Christ? He is the only anti-virus.

Maybe as you use your computer and watch your AV program scan your hard drive for malicious threats, you will think about how we must be programmed by God if we have any hope of doing or being what He designed.

Truth in Common: Trees

2010-04-06T22:28:00.005-04:00

This is the first entry in what I hope will be a series called "Truth in Common." The idea of this series is that I'm beginning to see the truth of God in almost everything I see. The Bible says "...let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds." If I can use common everyday things to point you and me to God, we will perhaps have a better shot at "love and good deeds." Call it my own version of a WWJD bracelet - I'm going to try it.

Trees

Trees make me think of worship.

A tree points up to its source of life. A tree looks like it is reaching up toward the sun. Its arms stretch toward the sky as if to say, "Sun, thank you for warmth and light." Trees that are alive and full of leaves are vibrant, beautiful things. They almost seem to whisper, like they have something in their heart that they can't put into words so they just whisper, "thank you, thank you, thank you."

A tree sinks its roots into the ground so it can be fed. When I sink roots into God's word, worship springs up spontaneously. When a tree's roots are too shallow, the tree can be blown over by harsh winds. By contrast, I've seen trees that are deeply rooted bent over by hurricanes only to stand up tall again when the storm passes. Sometimes our worship is at its best when we find ourselves standing up tall after a storm.

Jesus hung on a cross that was made from a tree. In fact, in some of our songs we sing of Him "hanging on a tree." His death and resurrection are the focal point of human history and so are easily at the center of our worship. And really worship is worth-ship and Revelation 5:11 says, "Worthy is the Lamb, who was slain, to receive power and wealth and wisdom and strength and honor and glory and praise!"

So maybe when you see a tree, especially one that is full of leaves and seems to stretch out to embrace the warmth of the sun, you will think of worship and the One who is worthy.

Does a tree make you think of worship? Does it make you think of other bits of truth? I'm interested in your comments. Also, feel free to give me some ideas of items to explore in the future in Truth in Common.

What is Easter all about anyway?

2010-03-31T10:29:00.002-04:00

If you don't consider yourself a Christian, or you've visited a Christian church a few times and wonder what the big deal is about Easter, let me try to give you some information on this.

As Christians, we hold to what the Bible tells us about being created by God. It tells us that He made us and gave us instructions on how to live. Then we disobeyed Him and rejected His authority in our lives. This made us enemies of God. We were lost.

Then for a very long time, God worked with people to show us that no amount of our effort would be enough to "earn" a place in heaven with God (or even a restored relationship with Him in this lifetime). He gave us laws again so that we could submit to His authority and live His way. We repeatedly broke his laws. It became clear that we were just too selfish to make God most important in our lives. In light of this, it became clear that if God didn't do something, we would have no hope. We were lost.

So Go did something. He came down to us. He set aside His own self and became a human person. He was born, grew up, learned the teachings we had been trying to follow, and then began to show us another way to live. This made some of us very angry. We wanted to do things our own way and He began telling us that He is the only way to God. We began to see that He wanted us to believe in Him and to trust Him with our lives. This made us afraid and even more angry. So we killed Him. The Bible tells us that it was all of our sin that sent Jesus to the cross to die. Every one of us was in on that. We heard Jesus' message, He showed us the way back to God, and we killed Him. We were lost.

But God is greater than we are. We didn't know that our disobedience to Him was so great that there was no way we could pay for it. We also didn't realize that Jesus had managed to live a sinless life and that God was willing to accept His death as payment for our sins. So when we killed Jesus, we didn't even know that He was actually giving up His life for us! See how lost we were?

The Bible tells us that God accepted Jesus' payment for our sin. Even more, Jesus' went down to death and faced our real enemy, Satan, and broke the power of death. Then, because death didn't have power over Jesus anymore, He came back to life by the power of God! A dead man actually came back to life! That's what we're all talking about when we talk about resurrection.
There were many people who saw Him after He came back to life. They were witnesses that He had won this great victory over death and our sin. They began to teach what He had been walking around telling people. We can come back to God! We are not lost anymore. There is a way!

So, every year we have this great party. It doesn't look like other parties because it celebrates something far more meaningful than anything else we could party about. We were lost. Jesus came to find us and show us the way to God. Now we are found. Do you realize what this means?
A bunch of us realize this is the most important thing that has ever happened to us. We get together often and talk about what Jesus did and how would should live afterwards. When Easter comes, we set aside some time to remember what Jesus went through when we were killing Him. That's why you might see people crying. They realize that Jesus never did anything wrong. The worst thing He did was love us more than He loved His own life. They realize that He actually was tortured and killed and that it was extremely painful and that He didn't deserve it, we did. So we cry, especially on Good Friday, which is the day we connect with the day Jesus died.

But it doesn't end there. You probably wouldn't be interested in coming to a party where a bunch of people sit around and cry together. That's why you should come on Sunday! Easter Sunday we get together and remember the day that Jesus came back to life and came out of his own grave. We well up with so much hope and joy in our hearts because we realize that He did it! He defeated sin and death! He made a way back to God! And, further, He said to tell everyone that anyone who wants to come back to God that they can now do that! So we party, but in a strange way. We celebrate by drinking from a cup and eating a piece of bread or cracker that Jesus said would continue to tell us what He did for us. We celebrate by thanking God for not leaving us on our own to die in our sin. We celebrate with singing, and praying, and hugging, and crying. Usually someone stands up and talks to us about why we are celebrating, and gives you a chance to pray and thank Jesus and give Him your life and ask Him to come down to your heart and teach you how to live. We basically are just celebrating the best thing any of us have ever heard! We call it Good News and we use the old word Gospel when we talk about that.

Don't be afraid if you aren't familiar with all this or if you haven't caught on to the party atmosphere. People all over the world join in this party and they would love to talk to you about Jesus and try to get you to join the party too. We love you and want you to not have to walk around in darkness thinking we are all still lost. God found us! Jesus tracked us down and said, "Turn around, look where I'm heading, and follow me. Trust me, I'll get you there."

If you want to be a part of this, we'll be happy to have you. If you are already a part of this, I'll see some of you on Friday and Sunday and we'll remember together. I can't wait. It'll be great this year! God is with us! We are not lost! Jesus lives!

If you comment here that you would like to talk more about this, I will reply so we can start a conversation. Don't be surprised if I get a little excited about it all. It's just too much for me to keep bottled up inside. By the way, if you wonder about the things I've said here, read it for yourself in Matthew, Mark, Luke and John in the Bible. There are many more details in there and all of them are worth reading.

Radical

2010-03-29T09:37:00.005-04:00

Forgive me...I'm a word nerd. Here's a link to "radical" at dictionary.com. I'm particularly interested in the first five definitions of the word as an adjective and the first two definitions of the word as a noun.

Here they all are:

Noun def. 9: "a person who holds or follows strong convictions or extreme principles; extremist"

Noun def. 10: "a person who advocates fundamental political, economic, and social reforms by direct and often uncompromising methods."

Adjective def. 1: "of or going to the root or origin; fundamental"

Adjective def. 2: "thoroughgoing or extreme, esp. as regards change from accepted or traditional forms"

Adjective def. 3: "favoring drastic political, economic, or social reforms"

Adjective def. 4: "forming a basis or foundation"

Adjective def. 5: "existing inherently in a thing or person"

As I read the Bible, how can anyone consider Christianity anything other than radical? Jesus said, "I am the way, the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me."

As we go through this week between Palm Sunday and Easter, I can't help but think about how radical God's love for us really is.

If you don't go regularly or haven't go in a while, think about spending Easter at a church near you. The retelling of the story of our Savior's sacrifice and the celebration of His great and enduring victory is really the climax and conclusion of the story that opens with Christmas. Do some reading in the Bible and you'll discover that this story goes back a great deal farther. We have some ancient Jewish spiritual relatives that would consider our part of this story (the church age) a rather short and magnificent chapter in the greater book of what in the world God is doing. Perhaps if you stop in for a visit this coming weekend you'll find what your heart has been looking for. God bless you.

Compare and contrast...

2010-03-04T21:35:00.003-05:00

(and anyone who has taken a high school English class just shuddered)

Juxtapose James 2 and Matthew 19:16-30. Working backwards, the passage from Matthew is the story often called "the rich, young ruler." James 2 can be evenly divided into a warning against prejudicial treatment and then a description of the relationship between faith and works in the life of a believer.

(this would be a good time to stop and read those two passages: here for James 2 and here for Matthew 19)

Here are some connections I can see in these passages. First is the most visible connection - the problem of wealth. In Matthew wealth is the great hindrance that keeps a young man from choosing to follow Christ. In James, wealth is the catalyst of a show of favoritism that is both an insult to the body of Christ and show of their shallow and fickle interest in the glitter of shiny things. Jesus is the centerpiece of both stories.

For the purpose of this particular comparison, I'm interested in the NIV interpretation of the rich young man's first question to Jesus: "Teacher, what good thing must I do to get eternal life?" Jesus starts him off with a reminder that God asks for our obedience. Remember, Jesus told his disciples that we are His disciples if we do what he commands. However, when the young man claims to have followed the commandments, he still asks if there is something he lacks. Jesus follows it with "if you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me." The story of the young man finishes with the very sad statement that his wealth was too great a sacrifice for him to make. For Jesus' disciples the story is only half over. We get to see Jesus' explanation of the incident to his followers who observed the interchange. Their fear: if it's so hard for a rich person to enter the kingdom of heaven, what hope is there for the rest of us? Jesus answer is strikingly simple and profoundly hopeful. "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."

God saves. And Jesus is the way. This means that for those who are disadvantaged in worldly means there is still great hope. The kingdom of God that sits just beyond this discernible reality is populated with many princes who spent their years on earth sleeping on park benches or in alleys. God's kingdom is populated not by children of old money, but by paupers and orphans who are adopted and given mansions and seats of honor near their beloved king. And Jesus told his disciples about all of this, but how easily they are distracted by a grand entrance by someone dressed nicely.

In James 2, the apostle confronts Christians for their preferential treatment of rich people who came to their meetings. Ironic and sad. They were "shooing" the poor out of the way so they could give "places of honor" to wealthy people. The piercing question is that by doing this "have you not discriminated among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts?" Further, James 2 clarifies that in showing favoritism, one violates the command to "love your neighbor as yourself." Favoritism is a disease. It feeds on pride and the desire to align oneself with people that can improve one's status and popularity. You show favoritism toward people based on your own standards. When you measure people against your standard, you are playing God.

The real standard to which we are all compared is God. Thankfully, as we are reminded in James 2, mercy triumphs over judgement and God has shown us such great mercy. Jesus' statement "with God all things are possible" draws our attention to the fact that we deserved judgment but God showed us the mercy of applying Jesus' righteousness to anyone who accepts His forgiveness. We really must realize the dangerous trap of becoming enamored with what money claims to offer.

There is a second interesting connection in these two passages. James 2 very quickly moves from the discussion of mercy replacing favoritism into an almost uncomfortably frank statement on faith and deeds. The more controversial aspect of this passage probably does more to derail people in a harmful argument over words and keep us from seeing the clear message of this chapter. Maybe the combined message of Matthew 19 and James 2 is this: put your money where your mouth is. You believe? That's good. Now do something about it.

But it's stronger than that. From the example of the rich young man in Matthew, if you just obey commands (even God's commands), but you don't trust Christ and find your true identity in him, you will miss out. From James we see clearly that we can believe in God and even know who He is and still not be willing to submit to Him and we would be lost. In this Christian era, partly in reaction to "works-based salvation" (which is not really supportable Biblically), it may be that we have swung too far in the other direction. Just because we cannot trust our own efforts does not mean that we should not make every effort. There is a cart and horse order to it, though. If we do the works hoping to prove our worth to God, we only prove that we don't grasp what He has done for us. However, in light of what He has already done, we can respond with a life of humble service in gratitude and this will be a beautiful offering for His praise. In fact, it will go so far as to prove to others and to ourselves and maybe even to God that we mean what we say and are not just trying to get something from Him (though, I agree it sounds a little absurd to try to prove something to someone who can see the condition of your heart).

Maybe, in the realm of good works, we should fight fire with fire. James does not say, "show me your faith without works and I'll show you my works without faith." He says, "Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by my works." If we are afraid of someone thinking they can work their way to heaven, we should counter that with good deeds motivated by gratitude. We could eliminate the neurosis of legalism and instead actually be transformed!

I welcome other observations if you read these two passages and find other things to compare.

Hello, soap box...it's been a while.

2010-02-01T13:02:00.002-05:00

A good friend let me into some of the thoughts he's been journaling. This one stood out to me:

"Our reputation is more important to us than our relationships."

Honestly, I just sat and stared at that statement for a little while when I first read it. Here's some context. My friend was writing his thoughts about the topic of how to live so that everything we do propagates Christ and His glory. He was on the point of listing the ways our culture motivates us contrary to what God asks of us. That's when he included the above statement.

I'd like to pause here and say that I didn't ask him about including this, that's why he will remain anonymous in this post.

I think my friend has described a fundamental reason for so many of the issues we face in our personal lives and in our life as the body of Christ. It would be easy to carry on pointing out the ways this is true, but I think anyone who reads the statement can identify with it easily - so easily, in fact, that our immediate reaction might be to try to prove that it isn't true so we don't feel the guilt and shame that follows. Good luck with that...it didn't work for me.

When it comes to the idea of reputation, I can't help but think about all I've been told in my life about the importance of maintaining my testimony. "If you do that it could hurt your testimony." What is meant by this, to the best of my understanding, is that the way we behave can have an effect not only on what people think of us, but also what they think of Christ! To this end, how we behave is important. But, I think I'm getting ahead of myself here.

I've encountered a certain level of obsession with one's testimony. I've known people who would not talk to someone because being seen with them might "hurt their testimony." This doesn't fit with Jesus' behavior. Jesus was chastised by the Pharisees for eating with tax collectors and sinners. He spoke with the woman at the Samaritan well that was there avoiding contact with people. Jesus would often come into contact with blind beggars, orphans, lepers, and others in society that a "pure" person would not come near. In fact, in coming to our world, Jesus is described as making himself, "of no reputation." This is in Philippians 2:7. In the New International Version, it uses the phrase "made himself nothing."

No reputation....
Nothing...

This is the most vivid example that has ever been of the spiritual concept of dying to self. If I am dead to myself, then to me I am nothing.

It appears that worrying about "what people think of me" is really just worrying about me. Pride. We trace sin to its source and all we find is the idolatry of self-deification.

But there's another side to this coin. We DO need to be worried about what people think...about Jesus! In Romans 2, there is a very scary statement to Christians that the name of God "is blasphemed among the gentiles because of you." This is a reference to two passages in the Old Testament that show how the people of Israel were making God a mockery among the surrounding nations by their refusal to live by His commandments. The recurrence of it in the New Testament shows that the Church can all too easily fall into the same trap. We CANNOT go around saying, "God says do this, don't do this" and then turn around and violate those same standards. If we refuse to live by one of God's commands, why would we ever try to tell others that that command is worth observing? Ridiculous - literally...worthy of ridicule.

So what? What if I began to care more about the people around me than I do about my reputation? What would change? Certainly something to think about.

Happy Easter

2009-04-12T08:11:00.002-04:00

I read the story of Jesus' betrayal, execution and resurrection with my 7-year-old and 5-year old before they went to bed last night. We had a children's bible that told the story using words that were easier for them to understand.

We talked about what the story meant and they both made thoughtful comments. It was a special time. I enjoy it when my kids like something that I like, but there is nothing better to me than knowing that my children know who Jesus is and what he has done for them.

There are many things I think about Easter. But this year I'm enjoying so much the beautiful simplicity of a child's faith and understanding.

My one question is this, what is it for you? Is it a "family" occasion? A "holiday?" Do you think more about bunnies and eggs than about a savior and a world-changing miracle?

Man's new friend...

2009-04-05T23:08:00.003-04:00

I'd like to introduce Joey. This beautiful dog joined our family today. he was wandering in the streets of a suburb south of us. A kind family took him in and then posted a craigslist ad saying they needed a good home for a nice dog. We responded and were invited to go meet him. He took to us right away and the family that found him released him to us. My only difficulty in taking him was that they had a six-year-old girl who was heartbroken to see him go. We promised to email pictures for her and that seemed to help.

Joey is a cuddler. They warned us that he thinks he is a lap dog, and it's true. I had a very hard time saying goodbye to Sammy. It was too hard for me to blog it, so I didn't. Don't feel badly, there are some things that cannot be shared with the world. God knows what we need and today I needed to meet Joey. Susan said, "Our family is complete again." I don't know if that's true or not, but we are dog people and something has felt like it's missing since Sammy died. So, we have a new friend. He's the world's friendliest dog and we feel blessed to have him in our home. I'm sure there will be more to the adventures of Joey Nelson in later posts.

Palm Everyday

2009-04-05T10:11:00.003-04:00

Today is Palm Sunday (according to the calendar). Today is the day that churches all over the world traditionally celebrate what is called the "Triumphal Entry."

Shortly before His arrest (false), trial (mis), execution (unjust), and resurrection (more on this next week), Jesus made a grand entrance into the city of Jerusalem accompanied by a huge crowd of people who were making a huge ruckus and laying their cloaks on the road for Jesus to pass over. They waved palm branches (that's where we get the name for the occasion) and shouted "Hosanna!" over and over. Hosanna is a combination of two words that can be taken to mean "deliver us now" or "save us now."

I find some irony here. First, there is good reason to believe that the deliverance for which the people were asking was from the Romans. I find it ironic that when they shouted "save us now" they probably didn't know or understand that that's exactly what He came to do, only not in the way they would expect. Jesus came to save them and us from the true tyrrany that dominates and enslaves us - our sin. They would remain under Roman rule and Jesus would be killed and for those who did not understand the Messianic significance of His death, that would be the end of the dream. For the rest of us, His resurrection is the beginning of our true life (more on that next week).

The second irony I see is the observance of the day. I'm not sure what we're celebrating when we observe Palm Sunday. As a child, I participated in a palm branch waving parade into the church with all of us saying, "Hosanna, Son of David." As an adult looking into what that event signified, I do see it as a sort of revelation of Jesus on the national stage. I guess for that reason it's worth the re-enactment. However, I think it's a little funny. Let's just hope that a week from now we're not in a crowd of many of the same people calling for an end to his "blasphemous" claims and his rejection of our religion.

When we call out, "Save us now," I hope we are doing so knowing that He is the savior and that He will answer and save us from what is truly enslaving us.

What I love about the true church...

2009-04-02T23:57:00.001-04:00

Ok. Those who recently read "Wake up, Church!" may be a little surprised at this latest bit. The fact is that I posted an incomplete thought last Sunday.

Since that posting I've had no fewer than six separate deep discussions about the topic and I realized that I needed to have said a few more things before I hit 'publish.'

First of all, I love the church. The church is the people of God. I cannot even begin to explain all of the people who have had profound effects on my life or in how many ways they have done so. There is nowhere else on earth other than in the presence of believers that I feel "at home" and there is nothing I love more than sitting and talking with another Christian about our Christ.

I love the Christians on the fringes asking hard questions and making me scratch my head and dive into the Word to remind myself of what Jesus says about some hard areas of life.

I love the Christians who are in the middle of the main stream of Evangelical Christianity who defend church and "how it's always been done" with the tenacity of a guard dog.

I love the Christians who ache to see the world changed for the cause of the Gospel and will make any sacrifice necessary for the Kingdom of God.

I love the Christians whose legacy is the very stones of the path I'm attempting to walk, though not always expressing my gratitude appropriately.

For me to say what I said the other day without making sure to point out that "leaving the church" is not only a bad idea, but arrogant and self-righteous was myopic at best. I neglected that point because with my present focus on the church as the body of believers, it seems a given that someone who believes in Christ cannot leave the body of believers. And so I made an assumption that I was being clear on that.

So, here I am feeling a little chagrined. I'm sorry, church, that it took me more than the first 20 years of my life to begin to ask God what he really wanted from me. I'm sorry, church, that I played into the deception I previously discussed by pretending to be one thing at church meetings and then living a different way everywhere else. I'm sorry, church, that I have spent so much time dabbling in sin and complacency all while complaining that I sense no spiritual vitality in my life. I'm sorry, church, that I have not been serving you with the gifts God has given me. I'm sorry, church, that I tend to be very open with my critiques and very private with my praise.

Love God, love people, follow Jesus. I think I've been emphasizing points one and three and not really living point two.

So, I reiterate what I said in the other posting about the church really becoming what Jesus describes in his anecdotes of Kingdom living. But, I also ask for you, church, to give me grace as I try to live the complexity of the simple truths I see in God's Word.

And, world, I also want to say to you that I'm sorry for the ways that I have not represented the love that Jesus has for you in ways that mean anything to you. I ask for you to forgive my ignorance, my judgments, my hypocrisy, my selfishness, and all my efforts at trying to be like you. I'm from another place and much of my life I've been acting like a wanna-be.

Finally, God, please don't stop speaking to me through the Bible, and through my interactions with wise friends. You have given me great gifts in my parents and my brothers and sisters in Christ. You have given me the great gift of faith so I can see and believe. You gave the greatest gift of all, your own Son. I deserve none of this. God, replace the part of my heart that wants to chastise and replace it with an eye that sees opportunity and a will that doesn't pass it by. Create in me a clean heart, O God. Transform me by the renewing of my mind. Most of all, use your Spirit in me so I can be usable to you. I have no other wants.

Church, I'm sorry if I stepped on toes.

2009-04-02T00:37:00.002-04:00

If you are what you consider a "traditionalist" then you may have been offended by my previous post entitled, "Wake up, Church!"

It is not my intent to invalidate the present form of church. God can and does use those who submit to Him and there are many in church who do just that. I think the present form of the church is also an apt place for anyone that would not be able to be in a house church without tremendous distractions. If you do not feel that where you are is legitimately ministering to you, you probably will not grow there.

My intention is to call out those who would masquerade as the church while living for themselves. I want those who do have Jesus to just keep doing what they believe God would have them do and strive to become like their master in all ways.

So, if you were originally offended, please accept this olive branch. I sincerly want to start conversations that drive people to seek the face of God and that are mutually encouraging to all involved.

"non-inspired" bible study observation

2009-04-01T00:03:00.002-04:00

Here's an alphabetical list of Greek words with rough English meanings from a current New Testament lexicon:

ekkaqairo - clean out
ekkaio - burn out
ekkakeo - worn out
ekkenteo - put out or dig out
ekklao - break off or cut off
ekkleio - shut out or turn out
ekklesia - church
ekklino - to deviate or to shun
ekkolumbao - swim away
ekkomizo - to carry out
ekkopto - cut out or cut off or cut down

Reminds me of the song from Sesame Street...

"Which one of these is not like the others. Which one of these doesn't belong."

Nothing profound. I'm just up too late and no longer being productive.

Wake up, church!

2009-03-29T07:47:00.008-04:00

I don't know what is happening to me, but I don't want to miss it. I have been seeing or feeling or sensing God at work in my life in the past few weeks like I never have before. It's a little scary in the sense that I don't know exactly what is happening or where it is going, but it is thrilling that it seems so clear and so immediate. Let me try to explain myself.

I don't like to go to church. For me it is usually an exercise in insincerity. Not that I am given to pretending. Those that are closest to me will probably say that too much of my heart is on too much of my sleeve. I don't know if that's good or bad, but it's who I am and I don't know that I have the time or desire to try to be something I'm not.

As a result of my dislike for going to church, I started sincerely looking into what God says about His church to see if what I was feeling was my pride and sin warring against Him or if my feelings were about something real. What I am discovering is shocking.

To put it simply, I have discovered that none of us should be going to church.

When you're over the shock of that sentence, keep reading. I'm not walking away from my faith. There are great deceptions at work in the church. In my nation, those deceptions include the following:

1. Being Christian is equivalent to being American.

2. Church is something to go participate in and is a place that is comfortable and appealing.

3. Being religious is the same as being spiritual.

4. Meeting the approval of people in your church is the same as meeting God's approval.

There are many other deceptions, but there is one great work of deception that is stealing the hearts of the people of God from Him - that we can live by the pattern of the world and still be ok with God.

I cannot talk about the aspects of this deception that I've already seen without making you read an extremely long, rambling entry. So for this one I'll just talk about what I see in the church.

We've read in Romans 12:2 that we are not to conform any longer to the patternof this world but to be transformed by the renewing of our minds. To be transformed is to be changed from something into something else. You cannot transform yourself. You must be transformed by God and when that happens the result is clarity - you will know the will of God.

The church is not a building. The church is not an event. The church is not a schedule. The church is not a culture. The church is not an organization. The church is not a system. The church is people.

Who are these people? We are people who have the Spirit of God living in us because of the work of Jesus. If you have Jesus, you are the church. The things that the Apostles say about the church, they are saying about you. From the day you are born, there is a powerful enemy who works very hard to give you what you want. That enemy does not love you - he wants you to die. Don't listen to the one who wants you to die just because he gives you what you want. But this enemy is not as powerful as the One he tries to defeat. From the day you were born you've also had someone watching you and loving you and wanting to make you into something better than you can imagine. He knows you because he made you. What he wants for you is hope and a future. What he wants from you is just you. He doesn't want you for your money or your wit or your particular talents or what you look like or who you hang out with. If He wanted those things from you, He would wait to see what level of success you achieved before He would decide if He loved you or not. The truth is He has loved you your whole life - while you are still a sinner. In fact, I heard one person say about Jesus, "He loved you so much, He would rather die than live without you."

So what do the people who have Jesus look like? In the book of Galatians we are told that the "fruit of the spirit" is love, joy, peace, etc. I didn't list them all because the first three are telling enough. Do you have love, joy, and peace? Do you have love and joy? Do you have love? Do you have Jesus? There is a picture of what we are to look like when we live in the spirit of God. That picture is described in fuller detail in Galatians 5:16-26. Read it and then come back.

That section from Galatians tells is that the enemy I described before is actually appealing to a part of our own selves that wants to fight against God. There are some "big" sins in there that many of us avoid. However, included in the acts of the sinful nature are impurity, discord, jealousy, factions and envy and selfish ambition. Are these the ones we tolerate in our own lives and then think that we are still people of God? If you read to the end of that section, you will see what the people of God should look like. You will know them because they have love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

What do the people who have Jesus do? I can answer this in two ways - how we are to act toward one another and what is the job that Jesus has left us to do here. First, the people who have Jesus love one another. Jesus said himself, "By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." This was in chapter thirteen of the book of John. A little later in that same book, in chapter 15, Jesus says, "You are my friends if you do what I command." Then he says, "This is what I command: love one another." Jesus was asked by someone who was not his friend what He would say is the greatest commandment. Jesus told him that the greatest commandment is to love God with all your heart and the second greatest is to love each other. Then He said that everything else hinges on these two commands! Read about that here.

Jesus told us that we need each other, that we should not avoid getting together with other people who have Jesus. He said that, "...where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them." I fear that when two or three of us get together, we seldom do so in the name of Jesus. He told us when we are together that we remember him by sharing bread and a cup together in memory of his sacrifice for us. He told us that when someone believes in Jesus and wants to have His Spirit in them that the first thing we need to do is baptize them with water because they accept that Jesus died for them and was actually buried and actually rose from the dead to give us real life. Jesus also told us that when we are together we should encourage each other to love and do good things. He told us to encourage each other with Psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. He told us to carry each others' burdens. He told us to pray.

But, Jesus also left a very big job for us to do. We are to spread the message about Jesus to the whole world and we are to do that starting wherever we already are. In the Bible he was talking to people who lived in Judea. So he said, "Go to Judea, Samaria, and the rest of the world." (That's a paraphrase). Samaria was right next to Judea. I live in Huber Heights, OH. So if Jesus gave this command to me directly, He might have said, "Go to Huber Heights, Dayton, and the rest of the world."

So what does all this have to do with church? I know that if you don't go to a church you may have wondered about church and what goes on there. Let me tell you that if you get a chance to read the bible, you can see openly what the church is supposed to be. It's in the New Testament, and the apostles talk about it quite a bit. If you are in the church, let me say that a critical evaluation of your life will show you whether you are conforming to the pattern of this world. In most areas, we have been given standards that we are to meet in order to please God. Jesus says, "Be perfect, therefore, as your father in heaven is perfect." Is that the standard we present to one another? I see a much more common practice of telling someone that they will be pleasing to God if they assimilate our church culture. This is not the truth. In Hebrews and in 1 Thessalonians we are told that to please God we must have faith and we must love and we must live a set-apart life.

Did God mandate a schedule for church meetings? No. Did God mandate that we buy a church building and pay a staff and present a package of ministries in our services? No. Did God mandate that we sing four songs and then have a preacher give a sermon? No. Did God say that we need to wear certain clothes to have meetings together? No. I say that we have traded the simplicity and sincerity of living in the Spirit (see Galatians) with an organization designed to tell us what to think and how to live so we don't have to look to God in His Word and live. I say that we have become so accustomed to church culture that we will do anything to justify its rightness rather than let ourselves be transformed by the renewing our our minds. I say that because we have become accustomed to church culture, we have traded spiritual growth for personal comfort.

It's time for a change. It's time to stop putting so much stock in what we've been told all our lives. It's time to pick up the dusty Bible and read if for ourselves and be changed. It's time to stop being afraid of the unknown and start being afraid of rejecting our Holy God. What if your religion keeps you from the truth? Which would you sacrifice?

Wake up, church! You are the message-bearers. You are the people of love and acceptance. You are the people of purity and integrity. You are the people of faith and hope. You are the "little Christs." You are the ones who know the way, the truth, and the life. If you are not these things, you are not the church and if you are not the church why are you wasting your time going?

In the writings of the prophet Amos, the LORD says, "I hate, I despise your religious feasts; I cannot stand your assemblies." This condemnation follows the charge that the people of God had turned away from Him. That they traded doing good for doing evil. Based on what Galatians says about the things that are part of our sin nature, the present form of the church may mirror what Amos saw in the house of Isreal. Are the things that were important to Jesus important to us?

Wake up, church! Love and live.

My dog Sammy

2008-12-02T09:50:00.002-05:00

This is a picture of my dog, Sammy Sosa. We got him in 1998 (hence the name) and he's been a wonderful member of our family ever since.

On Thanksgiving day, 2008, Sammy had some sort of "event." We're not sure what exactly happened, but he's not the same. We think Sammy might be starting the process of saying goodbye to us.

It was a difficult evening for our family. Jenna was heartbroken and sat up with me keeping an eye on Sam. Kayla was sad, but mostly because Jenna was crying. After crying for a while, Jenna told Susan, "I need to write." And she did. She sat with a notebook in her hand and wrote for 20 or 30 minutes. Mostly it was notes to Sammy about how she loved him and she hoped he'd be happy in "hevin."

Sammy pulled through, and he's hanging on. He seems a little confused in general and his back legs are weak. But he doesn't seem to be hurting so we'll enjoy whatever time we have left with our old friend. You've been a wonderful dog, Sammy boy. Stay as long as you like and I'll take care of the family and the house for you when you go. I love you. Good doggy.

Father/Son

2008-11-22T00:23:00.002-05:00

I just uploaded an entire photo album in facebook that is comprised solely of pictures of my 8-month old son Eli.

I got to thinking about fathers and sons. I've been a father for over 7 years now and I've been a son for a little over 33. There's so much I want my kids to know. And I'm so excited for them to meet new things in life. Paradoxically, it is a challenge to not rush them out of various stages and yet the time flies by so quickly.

Dad, did you hold me and think about the things I would experience? Did it make you want to be the best man you could be because you knew I would need that? I just finished feeding Eli a bottle and it's 12:15 am. I held him and it was a quiet, tender moment for me. He's so small and yet so full of life. His face practically glows with his excitement to see and experience new things!

I am devastated by this moment. It makes me feel so big and important to have the impact on another person's life. Simultaneously, I am so deeply humbled by the privilege and responsibility of being entrusted to raise a child...let alone three of them! Lord God, I need you with urgent desperation! You must transform me into the person you want me to be. Failing these kids is not an option. Please change my heart and make me better.

To reflect clearly, I've felt overwhelmed like this just a few times. My wife did that to me and each of my three kids has done that to me. Dad, did you hold me once and feel the inexpressible urges of fatherhood? What did you think about my future in that moment? You should know that I believe you succeeded. I am not perfect. But I love my family and would die for them in a second. Even more, I love Jesus and His Word in ways I cannot express. Is that what you hoped for me?

It's not surprising that I can't have a pure reflective moment on my kids without appreciating my mom and dad so much. Thank you, mommy and daddy, for sitting up with me in the middle of the night, and for telling me about Jesus, and for patching up my many, many owies, and for making me my favorites every birthday, and for loving me enough to discipline me. What I understand about God is certainly connected with what you did for me. Please keep praying for me as I hold little hands and take big steps. Pray that I can be for them what you were for me and that they will love Jesus someday, too.

Blig-Blog

2008-10-14T11:55:00.003-04:00

Blog...comes from weblog...the term seems to describe a person using the web to keep a log of something.

What am I logging? I am logging the things in my head at the moments when I take time to blog. So...you could say I'm blogging about me blogging. *ouch* I think I felt a synapse blow. Maybe not.

So here's a nonsense entry that is in reaction to the realization that I was only putting in a blog entry because it has been so long since the last one. Obligatory blogging...blig-blog.

So I'm reacting against feeling obligated to blog, thereby alleviating the self-imposed expectation of blogging. And I'm doing so by putting in a blog entry. Nice.

...one another.

2008-08-25T16:11:00.005-04:00

As part of another writing in progress, I composed a list of the places that the phrase "one another" is found in the New Testament. I intentionally stuck with the NT because I'm curious mostly about the life of the Church. Here's a rough list based on a quick search in the NIV. I'm sure this list could be tweaked, but it's a great start:

· love one another (1 Pet. 1:22; 1 Jn 3:11, 4:7, 4:11; 2 Jn. 1:5)
· encourage one another (1 Thess. 5:11; Heb. 3:13, 10:25)
· greet one another with a kiss of love (1 Pet. 5:14) or holy kiss (Rom. 16:16; 2 Cor. 13:12)
· clothe yourselves with humility toward one another (1 Pet. 5:5)
· offer hospitality to one another (1 Pet. 4:9)
· live in harmony with one another (1 Pet. 3:8)
· do not slander one another (Jam. 4:11)
· spur one another on toward love and good deeds (Heb. 10:24)
· teach and admonish one another with wisdom (Col. 3:16)
· forgive...one another (Col. 3:13)
· submit to one another (Eph. 5:21)
· speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs (Eph. 5:19)
· be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other (Eph. 4:32)
· bear with one another in love (Eph. 4:2)
· serve one another in love (Gal. 5:13)
· agree with one another (1 Cor. 1:10)
· accept one another (Rom. 15:7)
· stop passing judgement on one another (Rom. 14:13)
· live in harmony with one another (Rom. 12:16)
· be devoted to one another in brotherly love (Rom. 12:10)
· honor one another above yourselves (Rom. 12:10)

Jesus said (in John 13:34-35), "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."

Food for much thought.

Midlife Crisis...a beginning.

2008-08-18T15:31:00.004-04:00

For those of you who hate to read depressing things and want to stay away from reality, you can go here.

For the rest of us, come sigh with me.

I'm 32 years old. I will turn 33 on the 28th of this month (10 days from now, I actually just now realized that). I accepted my current position as a PC Technician in July of 2000. Eight years later - eight years without the possibility of promotion and no changes that created the immediate potential for promotion - and I suddenly cannot find a reason to look forward to coming in to work.

Before my time as a PC tech, I was a teacher for two years and before that I was a Document Control Clerk for a major structural steel firm in CA. I was a Document Control Clerk the last time I truly dreaded going in to work. And here I am again.

I feel very nervous posting this. I don't know how an organization should react if they come across a blog entry in which a current employee expresses that he no longer likes his job.

Anyway, so I find myself discouraged about my career. The company treats me well and I am not getting stiffed in the pay department. However, there are other things that are part of being satisfied in ones work that I don't know how to settle.

First, there's the "putting on a face" aspect. My wife and my closest friends will tell you that I am incapable of hiding how I feel. So it becomes particularly tiring to smile and carry on at my job as if everything is as it has always been.

Second, it's necessary for a person's job satisfaction to feel that what they are doing is important and makes a difference. I believe in the organization's mission statement, but at times I feel that the day to day of my job is more like the military adage of digging a hole and filling that same hole. I think I've reached a point where I understand enough about managing the work (and have my own ideas about that) that DOING the work is no longer satisfying. Further, I seem to be far busier now than I recall being even just two years ago. I do have many ideas about management and no way to express those without appearing to be bad-mouthing my direct superiors.

Third, I have three kids now. So, the roughly 6 1/2 to 7 hours I spend driving to and from work each week feel like a waste, as do the hours I spend doing things that I don't enjoy. I know that since the fall it is unfair for me to assume that work will be without frustration. However, I feel that it ought to be WORTH the sacrifice of my time with my children. If it is just a paycheck, the hours of commute are not worth it. And right now, it is just a paycheck.

What your normal person in my position would do at this point is describe the motorcycle or boat or sports car that he has his eye on that will make his days more compelling. I cannot afford a motorcycle (that would by my clear choice of the three). Nor do I think a motorcycle would in anyway balance the things I'm feeling.

So I've started to write a book. That has the potential to be fulfilling and distracting. There is no present answer to the job satisfaction thing.

There's also the remote possibility that I am feeling passions to serve God in ways that this job cannot match. We'll see. For now, I come in, give my best effort, and endure one day at a time.

Cubicles and relative facsimiles of...

2008-05-22T13:44:00.002-04:00

I work in a group workspace. There are six of us in a bullpen desk arrangement with three desk areas on each wall of a space about 24 feet by 24 feet. It struck me today that if this kind of arrangement is to work longterm, the individuals involved need to be very aware of one another.

The following items should not leak out into someone else's desk area under any circumstances: clutter, attitude, smells. If you are a messy person, don't impinge on someone else's space with stuff you got out and didn't put back. If you are in a bad mood, cope. Don't pass on your stress, anger, or frustration as collaboration is for ideas and information, not for emotions. Collaborative emotion is for team sports and mobs. If you smell, go shower. Don't eat smelly food where it will annoy someone. Flatulence-inducing foods should be avoided at all costs.

The following items should be carefully shared: snacks, comedy, music, decor. Remember to offer snacks completely string-free. Snacks are not for currying favors to be cashed in later. This kills trust in the team environment. What you think is funny may be offensive to others or at the very least un-funny to them. There's very little more awkward than one person laughing at a joke that no one else laughts at. Music volume can be a team killer. Music is very personal to some people and that means you most likely will not be able to play music loud enough for everyone to hear without bugging someone. Remember, you're working so the music should be a background thing anyway. Finally, don't display things that would be offensive to someone else. Your wife may be attractive to you, but be careful what pictures of her you choose to display in the office. This can be awkward.

By the way, these are things I've learned from experience in a group work environment. There are many things you can do in an office that you cannot do in a group environment.

A few more things.

Just because you suddenly thought of something one of your co-workers needs to know that does not mean it's good idea to tell them about it right that minute. Take a second and see if your co-worker is focused on something before you just start talking to them (this is a very good idea with spouses as well).

If you are the "boss" in a group work environment, bossing every aspect of the work environment can turn it into prison for the workers. It's very annoying to be forced to listen to the boss' music that is up too loud or a style that is distracting to you. Actually, I have a great deal I can say about being the boss but I need to save that for another posting.

Really the idea with group working environments is to always consider others better than yourself. That concept seems very familiar.

Flurry of postings...

2008-05-20T14:14:00.002-04:00

May 2008 has become a record setting month for me as a blogger. Actually this is a shameless plug to invite you to check out my new blog (see my Blogfriends section and click on My Other Blog). That is where I will go to scratch my creative writing itch. I'm not sure where exactly you itch when you have the creative writing itch. I'll leave it to you to figure out.

Stairs that go nowhere

2008-05-19T13:25:00.004-04:00

In church yesterday, our pastor was talking about how we have a tendency to have a religion about God rather than a relationship with God. At one point he said, "Anything you're doing that doesn't make you more like God, you should stop doing it." I believe by "anything" he meant anything done under the guise of our faith or our conviction. Basically anything we think we are "supposed" to do.

What are some things we do religiously that might not be making us more like God?

Church? Prayer? Devotions? Tithe? Serve? Dress a certain way? Hold to certain political views? Do or not do certain social activities? Consume or not consume certain foods and beverages?

I guess the litmus test for this question really is this: How do you know if something is making you more like God? Maybe we have to default to Galatians 5:22-24. According to that passage, if the activity is not resulting in love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness or self-control, then it is not producing any evidence of the presence of God. And do you really want to go through life proving that God is not involved in what you are doing?

I have settled on this: if God is for me, it does not matter who is against me; and if God is against me, it wouldn't matter if every other being in the universe was for me.

I think we need to stop living for other people. I think we need to stop being controlled by the opinions of people. I think we need to stop conforming to the patterns of the world we live in, especially when those patterns worm their way into our churches and try to break into our families. I think we need to stop being so sure of ourselves and start being very sure of our God.

What would happen if I went through one whole day without once thinking about myself? It may not be possible, but if it happened I bet it would change my life.

An arrow in my quiver.

2008-05-16T15:58:00.007-04:00

Ok, so it turned out to be easier than I thought...posting pictures. So, I thought I'd put up a couple of "proud papa" shots.

So there's this one of Little E and me the day Susan and I brought him home from the hospital. I don't think 2 days old is too soon for a hammock nap with dad, do you?

Then there's this one. It's a Friday evening, my sixth work day in a row, and Eli and I both have drool on our shirts.

When I get to the point where I feel heavy tired and like I won't be able to do even one more thing, my kids have the magical ability to infuse me with joy and energy! No wonder they're so hard to stop! You can't fight them, you have to join them! AAAAUGHH!

And now we come to the secret plot of this posting. Have you noticed my hair in these pictures?

My shame...

2008-05-16T15:18:00.005-04:00

To my shame it has been over a year since I plugged in any new stuff here.

I just checked in on two blogs - one by a friend from high school and one by a friend from college.
Now my shame is put in starker terms. Firstly, I am ashamed to say I was jealous of one friend's profound pile of picture postings. Pictures say more than words do (proof here). Then, I was ashamed by my other friend's frank expression of faith (read here).

But here's my real shame. My recent spiritual laziness was utterly exposed (picture me head down, hands covering my face).

I know without wavering that the truth of God in Jesus Christ is life itself. Yet, I spend such long periods pretending that I am somehow managing it all by myself. Then things get hard and stressful and I start thinking I'm losing control. Then, there it is. The clear reminder that I was not really in control to begin with...just imagining.

God must get tired of standing by while I run along sweating and straining, pausing for brief moments of "devotions" to ask him why it feels like he isn't making my life more manageable. Or maybe He just shakes his head a little sadly and things, "I could really be making that guy happy if he would just give me the wheel, move over, and sit back for a ride he would never expect." But God doesn't have to be that wistful. He knows! Scary but true. He knows the whole time that my brain won't figure out how to make happen all that I want to make happen. And he knows that my heart will be unable to bear the impossibility of my failure to achieve self-rule. And he knows how red-faced I am each time I come to this realization. God is God. I am not. I cannot be. He cannot NOT be.

I've been so annoyed by money (read here gas prices, rising food costs, higher bills) and I've let that annoyance excuse my neglect.

I don't want to keep flailing against shadows. I don't want to keep picking myself up by my own shoelaces.

God, you are so good and I have ignored you again.

I feel like my little Eli, working so hard to lift up my own head and hold it steady. For a 2-month old, that's great. For me, I need to just lay back in the arms of Him who is able to keep me. I have plenty to do, I just need to get back to doing it for Him.

Oh, and I will take a step in the right direction and post a picture. Here goes. *sigh* It's at the top. Oh, well, it's a start.

Quick Thoughts...

2007-03-01T08:57:00.000-05:00

March just started. It stormed last night, so I found myself up at 6 am. I ended up reading three chapters of Deuteronomy (5 - 7). It's a little strange to me. I find myself usually feeling very disconnected when I read the Old Testament. In Chapter 6 I ran across the Shema. In English, it's "Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one." (NIV Deut. 6:4)
I am not strictly "Israel" in that I really struggle to identify with the ancient nation especially as it shows up in the OT. However, according to Paul, I am grafted into the chosen people of God because of the work of Christ. That means we really could update the Shema to say, "Hear, O Church: The LORD our God, the LORD is one."
By the way, in Hebrew, the Shema is "Sh'ma Yis'ra'eil Adonai Eloheinu Adonai echad." My apologies, if there are any typos in that.
What's my point? I wonder, sometimes, if doing something liturgical, like proclaiming the shema (or the updated version) at the beginning of any gathering - church, discussion group, Bible study, meal, etc. - might give us a better identification with our religious heritage as Christians.
Hmmm...just a thought.

What is God's Will?

2007-01-24T11:27:00.001-05:00

I retitled my blog today. The former title was tired - now it's retired.

So here's the question on the will of God: have Christians created a culture of failure by advocating the cult of specialness? I'll work backwards through this question.

What do I mean by the "cult of specialness?" I mean that Christians can get obsessed with "finding God's will for my life." One author I've read recently (I believe it was Mark Buchanan) talked about a man he met who was growing old and made the statement that he was still waiting for God to do something with his life. This is an attitude I've encountered a few times before. Some people are immobilized by their assumption that God will drop a neon sign from the sky emblazoned with His will for them, or at the least have a heavenly beam of light illuminate a particular job listing in the classified ads accompanied by faint streams of the angelic choir. This is absurd. My use of the word cult is intended to imply the irrational end to which some people expect special and extra-Biblical revelation to determine their course of action. I think this is epidemic. Why are so many church leaders burning out? Why are so many willing servants being overtaxed while every week churches across the nation post "help wanted" notices in the Sunday bulletin for everything from custodial assistance to child care. In addition, how many families could benefit from fathers and mothers who pour more time and energy into each other and their kids? In addition, how many of us work in fields that could use a little more active involvement from someone who has encountered Jesus Christ? There are many great responsibilities that so many Christians are letting slide while they wait for "the call from God."
Maybe a part of it is our American addiction to celebrity bleeds over into our assumptions of what God wants to do with my life. Are we wasting our life waiting for God to give us a job worthy of recognition? Are we wrapped in a delusion that has drawn us into the cult of specialness?

Maybe we're not as individual and special as we think we are. We love to quote Jeremiah 29:11, " 'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.' " Do we so easily forget that this was said by the prophet Jeremiah to the nation of Israel. This is a corporate promise. Why do we appropriate it personally? Certainly God is capable of having a plan for each and every person on earth, but to what extent is that assumption Biblical? Here's a practical example. As a teenage boy dressed for church, my mother told me, "You're so handsome. Any girl would be happy to marry such a handsome boy." In college I discovered that my mother may not have precisely appreciated the tastes of America's girls. In fact, it appeared that the girls that caught my eye first had completely overlooked my existence and did not appreciate what it was my mother saw in me. Once I came to the realization that my mother was expressing her pride of me and love for me (not the real truth of my place in the world), then I was able to be in a functional relationship that has given me indescribable happiness for over ten years. Perhaps we've made statements to each other that make us feel the same sense of entitlement spiritually. What if the only call you officially get from God is the call to come home? When you die, will you stand before God saying, "Well, I was waiting for you to do something?" What if He replies, "I did something. Look at the cross. I have been waiting for you to do something."

Additionally, when I scan the Biblical record, it appears that God gave specific calls to kings, judges, prophets, and apostles. Even the priests were not specifically called - they were part of the tribe that God designated to the office. That may be a calling, but it is corporate, not specific. There is no record that God called Joseph to be a carpenter. He sent an angel to tell Joseph to be a good husband to Mary. I do think there is validity to the concept of the "call of God." However, I don't think everyone gets one. At least, I have not. If that means what I think it means, God is pleased with me serving Him in ways I find to serve and fulfilling the responsibilities He has given me in my home, church, and work. If I receive a special "calling" at any point other than my death, I'll be sure to let everyone know.

So, what is the culture of failure that I mentioned in the opening question? What if you were told, "Everyone whose nose turns green is important." You wait and wait for your nose to turn green, but it never does. How will you assess yourself? Personally, when I got to college and realized that I couldn't just snap my fingers and have any girl I saw, I was disappointed and hurt. I thought it meant that I was deficient or bad somehow. Then I discovered love. My wife loves me despite me. She encourages and forgives me no matter what dumb things I do. It has nothing to do with whether or not she thinks I'm handsome. What's more, the more she loves me, the more she seems to think I AM handsome. That's weird! So it turns out that I probably had no idea what my mom was actually telling me. Back to the topic. It took me years to get from the disappointment of not being a super-stud to the eyes-wide-open awareness of what love really is.

I heard on the radio this morning that a notable Christian author made the statement in his most famous book that everyone has specific, unique, special purpose from God. If that means anything more than being the best you can be for God wherever you are, then it is setting some folks up for some very real spiritual disappointment or disillusionment. If Joe Churchmember is of average intelligence, homely looks and minimal skill is he bound to a different commandment than Joe Superstar at whose feet the world lays its heart? Are we not ALL given the same commandment by our Lord - "Love the Lord your God with ALL your heart, soul, and mind; and love your neighbor as yourself." I say when we tell people that following Jesus means waiting for our great and important task, we belittle the great and important tasks already before us. Do we love the Lord with ALL? Do we love our neighbor as much as we love ourselves? (Neighbor is inclusive - this means your literal neighbor, and it means your spouse, children, coworkers, fellow church members, and anyone you happen to meet on the sidewalk).

So, here we are a group of people with a very important job given to us by God Almighty. But, we're so concerned about what people have told us that we don't just obey Him and follow Jesus.
I do believe that we set ourselves up for disappointment and failure because we make it our standard to be as famous as Jesus, not to be as loving, kind, gracious, faithful, committed, and homeless as Jesus. If we tried to be as holy as Jesus, we would forget about being as famous as Jesus.

OK. I asked the question: have we created a culture of failure by advocating the cult of specialness? I think we may have.

For me, it comes down to this. Are we all "special?" I don't think so. Are we all loved for beyond what we deserved by Jesus himself? YES. Are we all important to Jesus? He died for us. That should say it all.

So instead of looking for a way to "stand out" and "be noticed" for God, why don't you just give your life back to Him and follow Jesus. When you're just like Jesus, I guarantee you won't question whether or not you are in God's will.

"Beginnings" update

2006-12-12T16:20:00.000-05:00

I previously tested as an ENTJ in a Myers Briggs Type Indicator. Recently, I retested for work and discovered that I've morphed into ISTJ. If you're interested in this test or what you may be, you can find a free Jung Type test at humanmetrics.com.

So, I'm an introvert now. That's not terribly surprising. I'm finding certain types of social interaction getting more and more exhausting. Basically, I'm now drawn to activities that include my wife and daughters or my hammock and a book. I suppose there are limited situations where the wife and kids and the hammock and book could be combined, but I haven't found them yet.

A strange set of events has set me pensive. My Grandpa on my Dad's side is lying in a hospital bed right now trying to get out of critical condition. Around the same time, his wife (my Grandma) found out her sister died - natural causes, but sudden all the same. Around the same time my Mom's great-uncle died. I'm struggling because I don't know how I'm supposed to respond to all these situations. My ill Grandpa has been a significant influence on my life (see my previous post "Philosophies, and the men..."). The other two I knew barely from very few visits. It's weird to try to juggle a lack of emotional response in myself with the relationships I have with some who were close to these two that passed and were hurt by their passing.
Death can be a very strange thing. It does make me think of the significance of my life or the impact I'm having for Jesus Christ in the world around me. However, part of me is a little glad for someone who gets very old, and has lost much of the usefulness of life, and then passes into eternal life with God. For anyone going to God is better than staying here; however, for old and somewhat infirm people the difference is so dramatic that I feel relieved when they go to heaven.

I guess I really need a break from death right now. I think I'm over-analyzing even that.

Well, Christmas is right around the corner and I'm very much the type to ignore bad things when I have a chance to enjoy good ones.

Up note: I read The Hobbit for the first time in 20 years. What a great story! My estimation of Tolkien grows with everything I read about him or from his pen. Great book, professor!! Now onto a re-reading of Lord of the Rings!

What now?

2006-10-25T10:10:00.001-04:00

It's my first day back at work after a beautiful weekend camping in Kentucky. It's also my first day back at work after finding out that my friend and co-worker Gabe was killed in an automobile accident. I wanted to call in sick today. I guess I have to get through the first day back at work sometime.

Gabe was only 30. He left behind a wife and two very young sons. He was the kind of guy that demonstrated Christ's humility in how he treated everyone. He was always easy to work with and I enjoyed our interactions outside of work very much, as well. He loved his family very much. His quiet spirit was a testament to a maturity that was well beyond his 30 years. He will be missed.

I'm somber, now. I can't stop thinking about his young family and the unimaginable circumstance they are enduring right now.

Father God, please do something for Gabe's family so they can feel some of the peace that Gabe is now experiencing fully. And give us grace to cope with the loss.

Philosophy and the men who live it

2006-04-18T08:37:00.000-04:00

I've decided that right now, at the age of 30, my thought patterns should best describe me as a pragmatically utilitarian philosophizer. WHAT!!!!?????!!!!

Yeah, to help out, I went to dictionary.com for an accessible clarification. Pragmatism essentially deals with the level to which something is practical or applicable to life and circumstances - practicality, in other words. Utilitarianism is the belief that the value of something lies in its usefulness. And I chose to call myself a philosophizer and not a philosopher. This is because the term philosopher carries with it a dignity and premise of academic achievement which would condemn me as a hack if I allowed the comparison. So I am more of a philosophizer than a philosopher. To sum, I would describe myself as someone who loves wisdom and welcomes the open discussion of ideas in a manner that allows me to apply them to life in a useful way. You can tell by this paragraph that concision is not my strength.

I've been listening to a variety of thinkers regarding truth and spirituality. Among these names are Peter Kreeft, Ravi Zacharias, Dallas Willard, Don Miller, and Francis Schaeffer. I have also been sampling from a few other theology/philosophy/religion/truth websites. Among these are
veritas.org, monergism.org, and The White Horse Inn (which is actually a radio program). So far my favorite website is veritas.org. There are some compelling lectures that are available for download on mp3. The other two websites are connected with the Reformation or reformed theology. I've become interested in that on the side because I did not know very much about either the event or the theological strain. Ravi is a well known modern apologist and critical thinker who challenges the best minds of history with their relevance to life and to the truth of the Bible. Francis Schaeffer, near as I can tell, was a philosopher who had a significant impact on the concept of worldview. Don Miller is a modern author, most notably of Blue Like Jazz, and I think he's a sociologist. Dallas Willard, I know almost nothing about, I've just heard of him from people I respect and decided to hear one of his lectures. Peter Kreeft is an educator and philosopher at Boston College whose statements in many cases communicated very well to me and pressed me to think. None of these descriptions come close to being an accurate representation of these men, they are imply a statement of my current relationship to them and their ideas. There are so many great thoughts about God and about the person of Jesus that are worth considering and entertaining. Some, because they are true and beautiful, and some, because they are not necessarily true, but difficult. I've found that I like the difficult thoughts because there is much good in putting pressure on your mind. Truth is true, so truth continues to stand - no matter the good or ill of the person attempting to explain it. Some other names I've heard just a little from are William Lane Craig, N.T. Wright, Michael Horton, and Drew Trotter. There are many other names I hope to move onto soon enough. Among these will be Craig Blomberg, J. P. Moreland, Os Guinness, John Stott.

While I'm mentioning names, I must mention the three men who have had the greatest impact on my life and perspective - my father, Rev. David M. Nelson, and my grandfathers, Dr. Lloyd B. Hull and Dr. Lincoln D. Nelson.

Dr. Hull died in 1998 after serving as a pastor, missionary, Bible college professor, and teacher 60 years of service to God. The most direct impact on me (other than fathering my mother so I could, in turn, be born), is Grandpa Hull's deep, deep love of the Word. His learning was great but his appreciation of the truth was greater. Dr. Nelson is a medical doctor whose legacy includes serving in the armed forces during WW II and, immediately following, a lifelong career in medical missions during which he was directly responsible for starting a number of medical facilities in Asia and participating in a number of other medical works in Asia, Africa, North America, and probably many other places I don't even know about. Dr. Nelson infused his ministry with a passion for the gospel. His philosophy was that a person coming in for physical medicine ought to leave experiencing both physical and spiritual healing.

The greatest and most immediate impact on me, though, has been from my father, Rev. David M. Nelson. Dad was a bush pilot, airplane mechanic, teacher, preacher, administrator, and business manager for 15 years on the mission field. After that, he took over the pastorate of Tabernacle Baptist Church in Ithaca, NY, where he continues today. As a boy, I learned from him a fundamental set of truths and framework for reality that will never leave me. I had the tremendous privilege of growing up in a home where belief in God and in the person and deity of Jesus Christ was just a part of the fabric. I actually cannot remember a time when I did not have, as part of my perspective, an awareness of Jesus Christ my creator, savior, and sustainer. That's a credit to my parents.

As a boy, my dad was super-human to me. I believed he could do anything, was never wrong, and would last forever. He was my own in-home version of Superman.

When I was a teenager, I broke my dad's heart. His discovery of my interaction with pornography did not have a place in the heart of a man whose passion was to make better the lives of the people he encountered. Then I learned the miracle of grace. He continued to love me and raise me after that moment the same way he had before that moment. His love was bigger than my offense.

When I went to college, I encountered my father's mortality through a couple of fearful medical incidents. I was not prepared to accept the idea that my dad was susceptible to pain and injury and that these things could effect his capabilities. That first eye-opening led to other revelations that have given me a probably more realistic perspective of my dad. But a boy doesn't enjoy having to exchange his heroes for mere men. It was frustrating to face realities that in some ways contradicted my fantastic imagination. It turns out my dad can only fly if he's on an airplane. And, it turns out that can't leap tall buildings in a single bound. Then I learned the miracle of faith. Dad only did the things he did because he believed God. His faith had made him bigger than life.

Since college I have have learned much and in recent conversations about the Bible, dad and I do not always see eye-to-eye. I've even created difficult situations for him because of my interest in discussion and debate. There is a natural tendency for a person who discovers something fascinating to share it with other people and the hope that they too will be fascinated. It was not easy for me to discover that the things I am working through and attempting to resolve in my faith had reasonably settled places in dad's thinking. He is comfortable with his understanding of the truth and only uncomfortable with the ways that I'm not comfortable his understanding of the truth. Then I learned the miracle of truth. The truth is big enough that only God can manage it. The rest of us try, sometimes thinking we can fix the world if we explain it well enough, and then discover that no man can take in all there is to know. The freedom that I feel in exploring the varied attempts to explain the truth is no better than the freedom my dad feels in not having to worry about the other explanations of truth. In the end we both just want to know God, through Jesus, and please Him with our lives and our handling of the truth. My dad's level of conviction challenges me. His study of the Bible challenges me. His statements about Godly living challenge me.

And so, I conclude this. My father taught me grace, faith, and truth. There is no greater accomplishment of fatherhood. If I can accomplish with my children what my father accomplished in me, it will be only by the grace of God and will be my best achievement.

Wiki, Baseball, and Church...

2006-02-15T18:56:00.000-05:00

Apparently, I'm going to be a roughly twice-a-year blogger. That's ok, I guess. I blog to keep occasional track of myself.

Ok, so here's the latest. Wiki-mania is a real disease and I caught a bad case of it. I had heard of Wikipedia and made some fun of the silly name and wasn't really interested. I'm generally skeptical of an encyclopedia created and maintained by mostly non-experts. Then we got a test wiki at work and I created a couple of tech-related articles. IT'S SO EASY TO WIKI! I've been needing a medium for creating web-content that wasn't quite so intensive as learning HTML. So, after composing my first in-house wiki article on Friday (several weeks ago now), I went home, signed up on Wikipedia.com, and went nuts! Over the weekend I created 50+ articles (most of them short) relating to my Baseball Card collecting hobby. It was fun. If you want to see my work, visit

http://www.wikipedia.com/wiki/Topps_All-Star_Rookie_Teams

Bear in mind, the content on my wiki pages has been thus far completely frivolous. If you're not into baseball or baseball cards, you will not be interested.

In other news, Susan and I went looking for a church closer to home (we lived in Vandalia and went to Southgate in Springfield - 25-30 minutes away).
WARNING! There is religion-oriented discourse below. If you tend to avoid that, read not further.

There is a plethora of churches all around us. We tried several Baptist churches close by, then we tried a local community church. We tried a Methodist church, a "Christian Church," a charismatic church and an AOG-affiliated church. Interestingly, we came to the conclusion that we don't want to join a small church. We thought we were not "big-church people." Now, it turns out, we greatly enjoy some of the perks (children's ministries, ministry involvement opportunities, small-group involvement) of the larger churches we've known. In addition, the only two churches that we felt a connection with were the "Christian Church" and the AOG-affiliated church. This is not a problem for me personally. The trick is, I work for an organization with a doctrinal statement and a substantial agreement clause that asks all it's employees to be
members of churches that do not disagree with the organization's doctrinal position. As a rule, I'm not opposed to being asked to agree with certain things as a condition of employment. They have the right to ask, and I have the right to say no and refuse employment. Unfortunately, I didn't understand the narrowness of the substantial agreement clause and wound up disappointed at being restricted to finding membership in a Baptist church.

So here's where I find myself. I am diametrically opposed to claiming denominational nomenclature. I believe there is one God, one truth that is found in His word (The Bible), and one true interpretation of the truth - God's interpretation. Unfortunately, I also disagree with any organization claiming that they have the perfectly understood interpretation exclusive of all others. This means that while I could be in close enough agreement with any gospel-preaching church, it means I am not truly welcome in any of them at the point to which they require
me to agree with their narrowness on certain points. What I'm saying is, I really just want to read and live out the Word, recognizing that I require the Holy Spirit to properly do that, and admitting that on some points my stances are based on a presupposition that colors my reading
of the truth. If someone holds a different presupposition that leads them to a different reading of certain aspects of scripture, I believe we can agree on the basic truth of the scripture even if we differ in the wording of and even the ramifications of our various stances. This may sound dangerously similar to ecumenism, but it is not. The difference is murky, but here is my best attempt.

Ecumenism seeks to include as many versions and variations of the truth as it can for the purpose of religious collusion (collusion may seem a harsh word, but I haven't heard of instances of true ecumenism where someone did not show agreement with someone else on a major point of biblical doctrine). In contrast, I am seeking to be more discerning with truth to the point that I will not agree with any group that makes statements beyond what can be directly verified from scriptural passages (not proof-texting). I exclude from doctrinal stance anything that I
cannot read from the Bible itself. This means that I accept the Bible absolutely and absolutely do not accept anything else as authoritative.

So how do I avoid the apostasy that has sprung from man's attempt to interpret and apply the Bible without outside influence? I depend on humility and faith. I know myself. And so I know I am independently incapable of knowing God's truth. I require the guidance of the Holy
Spirit and will not make any steps in a direction that is not inspired by the Holy Spirit's guidance. Does this mean that I am apt to be duped by guidance that is not the Holy Spirit? I find that an extremely difficult allowance for two reasons. First, according to John 10, "27My
sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. 28I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand." I have faith that when I am seeking God, growing to know Him more, his voice will not be a mystery to me nor will I be easily
confused by non-God voices. Second, according to Jeremiah 29, "12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." I have faith that when I am asking God directly for his Spirit's guidance, He will give it. What form will this take? I don't exactly know. But, unless I am ready and willing to receive the Holy Spirit's guidance in my quest for understanding, what right have I to expect to understand it or claim to understand it?

How does this work out in practice? Let's take speaking in tongues as an example. I happen to believe that the listing of spiritual gifts in 1 Corinthians 12 is simply that - a listing of ways the Holy Spirit's power may be exhibited in a Christian's life. It is a validation that we do not all have to have the same gift in order to be gifted in service of God. There do not seem to be clear parameters as to when the gifts come, how long they stay, or if they might be temporary occurrences of a supernatural ability in one of the listed areas that is for a specific time and purpose. Without clear parameters, I am drawn back to the position of simply stating that God says we will receive gifts as manifestations of the Holy Spirit, that they will all be from the same
Holy Spirit, and that the gifts will be exhibited in various forms. Can we even say that that list is exhaustive? Might a person have a spiritual gift that is not listed in 1 Corinthians 12? At any rate, it stands to reason then, that I can stand in worship and service with someone who has spoken in tongues and not feel any need to judge his gift or manifest the Holy Spirit in the same way he has. I don't believe that the Bible tells me either to judge speaking in tongues as invalid
or as a necessary validation of the presence of the Holy Spirit in my life. So here's the real problem. Because I don't reject speaking in tongues out-of-hand, I am placed at odds with the community of believers that believes the tongues gift has ceased and is not in use by God
today. Also, because I don't endorse the gift of tongues as necessary to validate the Holy Spirit's work in my life, I am placed at odds with the community of believers that accepts and endorses the gift of tongues. This puts me in a narrow field. I cannot find a church that accepts the validity of tongues and allows it's usage according to the requirements set down in 1 Corinthians 14 but does not require or even ask it's exhibit in my life to validate the Holy Spirit's presence in my life. I have no reason to need or use the gift of tongues in my life right now, but I see no need to declare it a gift no longer in use by God. Who wants me?

There are actually quite a number of places where I'm asked to step beyond scriptural declaration into interpretation. Maybe that's because I'm not certain of the areas that seem to be open to interpretation. In my experience, I have not come across a passage that I could not accept without having to color it. If we are accountable to live our lives so as not to violate what the Bible says, that makes sense. If we are to live our lives so as not to violate what the Bible means, that could be a little more difficult (or impossible). At any rate, there's a good chance I will never find a church that is completely ok with everything I think. This is only (and I really do mean ONLY) an issue, because I cannot be just another pew-sitter. I feel that if the church is not something the members take ownership of, how can they expect to see it thrive. I want to be involved, to serve, to be used. And, I believe that my spiritual gifts are most evident in the teaching arena. Therefore I must, for my own integrity, not misrepresent God, the Bible, myself, or the church in which I take leadership. I feel like I've just described the perfect conundrum.

So, if you're interested in sharing your experience as a Berean trying to exist in the American church, comment here. I'd like to hear your thoughts.

By the way, we're going back to Southgate.

Another part of the cycle...

2005-07-27T15:24:00.000-04:00

2 Timothy 2:20-21

House cleaning time...

Sometimes I get frustrated that God doesn't seem to be doing anything with me. About the time I indulge that feeling I start to take inventory and realize pretty quickly that I'm the one not doing anything. It's even more strange because I always feel maxed out and scrapping for any spare moments. I must really like wood and clay because I've been phenominally more time on them than on gold and silver.

You know the "Easy" button? I wish there was a "Completely Committed to Christ" button that I could push to stop this lazy heart from killing my spirit with apathy.

The gold and silver: to love the Lord my God with all my heart and mind and strength and to love my neighbor as myself.

The wood and clay: baseball and XBox?

Side note: I've started listening to Creed. It's the hardest music I've really liked so far. I just really like the lyrics to My Own Prison.

One thing.

2005-02-02T09:02:00.000-05:00

I've come to the stark realization in the last few months that I should
have one thing as my focus - to move forward, with God as forward. My
ability to fulfill my roles as husband, father, teacher, friend,
employee all will flow from that. It's something I've known for years,
but only recently came to understand at that level of simplicity.
Sometimes I am taken by surprise by how life can be. Then I remember
that sin has cursed this earth and the only cure for the curse is Jesus
Christ, and Him crucified.

I'm doing a book study on Mark Buchanan's Your God Is Too Safe with
some friends from a nearby church. It is my second time through the
book, having lead a book discussion on it with my ABF (adult bible
fellowship - basically a sunday school class). What a book! No rival to
THE BOOK, of course. But, what an encouragement it has been to my
heart!

Slice of heaven...

2004-08-06T13:09:00.000-04:00

It's a Friday afternoon. The clock slows down, my whole body sags, my mind blurs. My eyes glaze over and I drift...

...there's a breeze, the sound of waves, the quiet creak of hammock ropes...very distant laughter...a gull cries overhead, obscured by the treetops...even in the shade, it's warm - not too warm...I drift...

...the breeze is now softer...water bumps along the shoreline rocks...the pier is dry and warm under my feet...there's a quick coolness as my feet break the surface...I open my eyes and see an upward plunge of bubbles...slowly I come up and feel the warm sun on my face...floating, I roll onto my back...and I drift...

...now the breeze if faster, cooler...the candle makes a pool of light around my lemonade...the edge of the sea is burning still, not completely over having to say goodnight to the sun...there's music playing somewhere, but the breeze plays with it...an evening star winks at me...my body feels the relaxed tiredness of the end of day...my eyes glaze...I drift...

...the wind swirls around me...a mist that's too wet blows across my face...the grey sky ruffles the dark grey sea...angry, abrupt waves poke back at the sky...I pull the blanket tighter around me...in my perch I am feeling the coming storm...my gaze tries to pierce where grey meets grey...and I drift...

...the noisy wind is angry that I'm out of it's reach...bright flickers dance the wall beside me...I cradle my coffee cup and breathe in it's toasty sweetness...behind me waves of warmth from the fireplace...in front of me waves froth and crash in a clumsy dance...rain runs sideways down the window...I drift...

...the soft breeze is back...the storm left, but the clouds stayed a while longer just in case...the sun grins at me, glad to be back...there are more birds in the sky - as if the storm reminded them they should be flying up there...leaning against a fencepost, I smell water and dirt...and I drift...

...back to the sound of a ringing telephone...a little work to do yet. It's nice that I don't have to leave my desk to visit the places my mind sees. Trudging off to fix a computer, I will still think about the hammock and a glass of lemonade. I raise my glass in salute to whatever pleasant wanderings you can manage as your work-week winds down.

Old friends...

2004-08-03T12:39:00.000-04:00

I am a 1993 graduate of Faith Academy, a missionary school just outside
of the city of Manila. on the Island of Luzon, in the Phillippines. I'm
on a quest to find my former classmates and reconnect with them. Just
today I received replies from Peter Venable and Peter Norton. I'm having
so much fun on this quest. It's been over 11 years since we graduated
and I haven't talked with either of these guys in exactly that long.

Beginnings...

2004-08-03T11:56:00.000-04:00

All things earthbound must have a beginning. That is were I am. First let me introduce my self. I am Joshua Lincoln Nelson - husband of Susan, father of Jenna and Kayla, son of Dave and Becky Nelson (whom henceforth shall be dubbed Dad and Mom).

I am a follower of Jesus Christ committed to discovering and upholding truth. Much more on this topic will follow. I am a baseball fan, so that will come up. I work as a computer technician, so I will at times be geekly.

This morning I took a couple of personality tests and the results are as follows:

In Myers-Briggs terms, I am:
ENTJ - "Field Marshall".
The basic driving force and need is to lead.
Tend to seek a position of responsibility and enjoys being an executive.
1.8% of total population.

On the Enneagram, I am a combination of:
1w9 (conscious) and 9w8 (unconscious)

The 1w9 description is:
"Wise idealists who comprehend the big picture, 1w9s prefer serenity to hustle/bustle existence. A desire to improve the world motivates them. They prefer to work alone rather than bother with the annoyances of typical workplace drama."

The 9w8 description is:
"You are more fearless than others. It is easy for you to trust people. You finish most things you start. You are more aware of pleasure than pain. You are very physically affectionate. You are very open minded. You like to listen."

I guess those two give a fair description to get us started. Let me know what you think.